Because I believe that most of our daily struggle stems from not accepting parts of ourselves. This can be due to early childhood wounding, trauma, or shaming. Or because we simply were not told something which other people were taught in their development. Or maybe we experienced some form of oppression, because we belong to a minority, maybe just for standing out. Often it is a combination of these things.
To reconnect these hidden, abandoned parts of us with our core, is what this work is about. To inspire to unite your whole self. No matter if we meet as client and counselor, or as client and somatic sex educator.
As a little boy I was told that some things are wrong, that some things or people are not meant to be together, and that anything that really feels good can not be healthy or good for anybody else. I was caught in a view of black and white thinking, held captive by my / or my peers ideas of right or wrong, morally despicable, or approved of by society. My mother kept her views hidden from my dad and if she did not, we knew they would end up in a fight, and vice versa. Sexually, I felt I could not be honest with anyone. However, when I discovered my sexuality, it were more the moments of intimacy (of 'in-to-me-u-see', if you will) with my partners that made me yearn for more, than any need for sexual satisfaction. I always felt more honest, more grounded, and alive, in bed than anywhere else in real life.
In real life I was constantly hiding, afraid to show my true feelings to anyone. I was working as an actor for many years, but never at ease with it, because I could not be myself, and because I did not see the benefit to humanity and the planet. I eventually chose to give up acting, to take a few years off and learn about myself. And to study counseling & life coaching.I began studying at the Interchange Counseling institute in San Francisco, while taking classes and working at Cafe Gratitude in Los Angeles.
Due to my physical improv theater background and the effects awareness of the body and feelings could have on my own psyche, I was particularly interested in somatic psychology. However, I thought that it might be beneficial to include erotic energy in that exploration of self, because it is so innate and primal and seemed to be directly connected to some of my primal fears, and some of my shame & guilt. I started studying tantra and eventually came across Joseph Kramer's Somatic Sex Educator, or Sexological Bodyworker, certificate program. I realized how simple profound learning can take place when doing sexological bodywork in a safe environment. This can lead to profound healing. I am getting certified as a sexological bodyworker (CSB) at the IASHS in San Francisco in 2014.
Today, I offer services to clients as either a counselor or sexological bodyworker (CSB).
In the free initial 30min conversation we can explore together which of the two, if any, might be a good fit for you.
The settings of the two professions are very different, and to make you feel completely safe and understood, I will not be able to switch you to the other modality after you decided for one. I will however always be able to recommend you to other certified counselors or somatic sex educators.
So please take your time to read about both modalities, and feel free to ask me any question that might come up.